Our relationship is something that balances on a thin line. Due to our parents, to our history, we have very little substance to our relationship. It wasn’t my choice or your choice for it to end up like this. You were born in to a broken family about to implode… Yet that wasn’t even the worst.
I can’t begin to imagine how confused you are at times. You will never hear just one story, but two completely different sides. It’s unfortunate the things you had to endure without choice because you were so young. I can’t say I was innocent in our lack of relationship. I was anxious, I was scared, and avoiding the situation. Which in turn meant I became distant from you.
When I wasn’t at school, I was outside and everywhere else that wasn’t home. There are time I would love to say that it wasn’t that bad and mabe compared to others issues it wasn’t, but I still hold a guilt. I could have been closer, I could have been there for ou more. The thing was I barely knew how to deal with myself, let alone others. To this day I still have trouble with relationships.
Mum, your older brother and I, went though a lot of pain when we torn away from you. We missed you and loved you. When we got you back I was so happy. You may have only been gone for 2 years, but it was longest two year. It started off slow, I still didn’t see much of you because I was constantly gone to my fathers when you were with mum. Then it became harder when I went away to college and now university but over the last two years… I have seen you a lot more.
It means the world to me that you love seeing me, you hug me, laugh at my dramatics and have no problem talking to me. I love you more then you will ever understand. I am so glad that certain things have worked out to allow all of this.
One thing is for sure, I will never let you go again.
Your Anxious Big Sister Whom Loves You to Death